Mr. Bill George Presents

Be A Society Hero

In Music, Video Games on May 11, 2009 at 10:32 PM

I have a headache, and do you know why? I don’t know what the word “hero” means anymore. No, this isn’t a long, political filibuster about the way things were in the good ole days; it is a call to action for all of us to just say no… to rhythm based video games.

Wait, did I really just try to put down the multi-zillion dollar industry that has been created by the game Guitar Hero? You’re damn right I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning the whole organization but I am saying enough is enough. Do you people realize how close we were to getting a Guitar Hero: Prince? (Prince had the dignity to decline and say kids would turn out as well adjusted individuals if they played actual instruments.) But I guess it makes sense, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith was a huge hit, the only thing it was missing in my mind was unlockable wheelchairs and walkers for Steven Tyler to use as he shuffled around stage. But enough about my dislike for Aerosmith, I’ll try and spell out it out for you a little more clearly.

Since 2005 when Guitar Hero burst onto the scene there have been 8 games that have come out with 3 more due out this year. Not including the Rock Band franchise which people still pretend is somehow different or more advanced than Guitar Hero, that’s around 1.6 games every year. That’s faster than MADDEN people! I do believe that the fine folks who program these games know that they are running out of room to make these games because in the 2009 lineup is a game called Band Hero. Probably up after that is Group of People in Close Proximity Making Noise Hero, or is that just another name for Aerosmith? Burned.

Basically what I’m driving at is that our whole media industry is far too consumed with reproducing something until its returns are so diminished that it ends up in the bargain bin at Dollar Tree. Don’t believe me? Toy Story 3 is in the works (I know it’s in 3D MrBillGeorge, relax), a new Beverly Hills Cop, a new Jurassic Park, a new Rambo for God’s sake, he (*spoilers*) DIED in the first book. Somewhere the carnage must end.

But there is in fact no end in sight. Activision is coming out with DJ Hero, which I’m absolutely sure will spawn a line of niche games in this vein. Maraca Hero, Slide-Whistle Hero, Nails on a Chalkboard Hero: Aerosmith, Triangle Hero and people will probably eat it up.

I put it to you America, play these games, but don’t discuss that Buddy Rich style drumming got you through ‘Hot For Teacher’ on drums. Be a society hero, go out, socialize, bang on a real drum or two, you just might find that not everything needs a USB port to be worthwhile.

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  1. I would like to meet you and shake your hand. I could not have stated this better myself. The entertainment industry has realized one thing and that simply is ‘ find something guaranteed to be a seller and capitalize on it. They will simply vomit the same films and games time after time until that generation simply grows tired of it

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