Mr. Bill George Presents

Archive for May, 2009


Do Not Go Gently Into That Average Evening

In Society on May 31, 2009 at 12:39 PM
Are you there god? It’s me, the_skeptic.
Well it finally happened today. I realized that despite my best efforts, I’m getting old. While I can find some solace in the fact that my generation aging right along with me, it’s just not enough. I’ll tell you where I realized it. I was at the mall, in Spencer’s, looking at the t-shirts. And among all the profane, smutty, and death metal t-shirts was a section dedicated to icons of the 90s. Ninja Turtles, Super Mario, Pokemon, Power Rangers it was all there, staring right back at me. I had to ask myself, “Who are they marketing these to?”. I know that me and my whole generation know of these icons, but to the younger kids, they are hip and trendy, things that harken back to a simpler time. I now ask myself, “Will I be able to tell this younger generation of my greatest accomplishment in life, completing all 96 levels in Super Mario World on all three files.” Or will these young whippersnappers in their cool shirts just look at me and say “Tell me another one you geezer”.
I could have brushed off the incident at the mall as my mind overreacting a bit. But no, there’s more. On my way home from the mall I was flipping through the stations on the radio dial, and heard a talking head saying he was going to spin Kid Rock’s “Only God Knows Why”. On WPYX, Albany’s finest CLASSIC ROCK station. Now a band from my youth is in with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rush, Journey and Aerosmith, the perpetual radio geezer trifecta from hell.
But the horror didn’t end there. I thought about the car I was sitting in. A 1998 Toyota 4Runner, with 176,000 miles on it. I think it’s a nice car, but then you think about it, its 11 years old. Now it’s a car you see at crappy little dealerships on every street corner with ads like “Good Winter Driver!!!” emblazoned on it and the salesmen is willing to throw in his youngest daughter in with the deal just to get the rusty bucket out of his sight.
CD Players now belong in the Smithsonian rather than in every kids backpack, VCRs seem like some weird internet abbrevation that no one knows the true meaning to, and let’s face facts 90s kids Pogs really weren’t as cool as we all thought they were.
But fear not, there is still hope for us as we slowy retire into the real world. Only we know the true joy of an episode of “Rocko’s Modern Life” brings (the_skeptic has them all on DVD tee-hee) , the primal rage of conducting a fatality on your opponent in Mortal Kombat II, and that is just fine with me. Let us be a generation that can keep up with the times, but never forgets where our roots lie. It’s time to accept that we are getting older, so the next time you have a “mall moment” like I did, don’t think “damn I’m getting old”, think “I’m gonna buy this shirt and proclaim to the world…TURTLES DON’T DO DRUGS!!! http://www.spencersonline.com/product/mutant_ninjat_turtles/

Are you there God? It’s me, the_skeptic.

Well it finally happened today. I realized that despite my best efforts, I’m getting old. While I can find some solace in the fact that my generation is aging right along with me, it’s just not enough. I’ll tell you where I realized it. I was at the mall, in Spencer’s, looking at the t-shirts. And among all the profane, smutty, and death metal t-shirts was a section dedicated to icons of the 90’s. Ninja Turtles, Super Mario, Pokemon, Power Rangers; they were all there, staring right back at me.

I had to ask myself, “Who are they marketing these to?” I know that me and my whole generation know of these icons, but to the younger kids, they are hip and trendy things that harken back to a simpler time. I now ask myself, “Will I be able to tell this younger generation of my greatest accomplishment in life: completing all 96 levels in Super Mario World on all three files?” Or will these young whippersnappers in their cool shirts just look at me and say, “Tell me another one you geezer.”

I could have brushed off the incident at the mall as my mind overreacting a bit. But no, there’s more. On my way home from the mall I was flipping through the stations on the radio dial, and heard a talking head saying he was going to spin Kid Rock’s “Only God Knows Why,” on WPYX, Albany’s finest CLASSIC ROCK station. Now a band from my youth is in with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rush, Journey and Aerosmith; the perpetual radio geezer trifecta from hell.

But the horror didn’t end there. I thought about the car I was sitting in. A 1998 Toyota 4Runner, with 176,000 miles on it. I think it’s a nice car, but then you think about it, it’s 11 years old. Now it’s a car you see at crappy little dealerships on every street corner with ads like “Good Winter Driver!!!” emblazoned on it and the salesmen is willing to throw his youngest daughter in with the deal just to get the rusty bucket out of his sight.

CD Players now belong in the Smithsonian rather than in every kid’s backpack, VCRs seem like some weird internet abbrevation that no one knows the true meaning of, and let’s face facts, ‘Pogs‘ really weren’t as cool as we all thought they were.

But fear not, there is still hope for us as we slowy retire into the real world. Only we know the true joy of an episode of Rocko’s Modern Life brings (the_skeptic has them all on DVD, tee-hee), or the primal rage of conducting a fatality on your opponent in Mortal Kombat II, and that is just fine with me. Let us be a generation that can keep up with the times, but never forget where our roots lie. It’s time to accept that we are getting older.

So the next time you have a “mall moment” like I did, don’t think “damn I’m getting old,” think “I’m gonna buy this shirt and proclaim to the world…TURTLES DON’T DO DRUGS!!!“

TMNT.jpg


Duel Of The Fates

In Comedy on May 30, 2009 at 11:55 AM

Let me tell you about my cat. My cat’s name is Aiden. He is all black, slender, has bright yellow eyes, and has rather sharp claws. He is an outside cat that loves to prowl about the Wilbraham suburbs stalking the various rodent-culture which include but are not limited to: Rabbits, moles, chipmunks, birds, mice, and so on and so forth.

Many times I come home to find a mangled corpse sprawled across our steps like some sort of primal offering upon the edifice of a blood-god. Once I came home to find a headless mouse, which isn’t so out of the blue, but this time the intact head was lying next to the body as if it had been recently cleaved. So then I start to wonder, did my cat take the mouse’s head off with a claymore? Did it kill the mouse somewhere else then carry the little mouse head in its maw separately? Odd things to ponder.

One day, however, I was standing in my kitchen which has a big window in which to view the majority of my back yard. There are a lot of trees and assorted fauna in the backyard for our cat to hunt in so sometimes I’ll just watch him as he stalks though the garden or eyes an oblivious rabbit from afar, gliding in closer and closer with menace in his eyes. So this particular day I witnessed something extraordinary. I watched Aiden as he stalked up on a chipmunk, given how skittish those things are I wonder how he possibly catches as many as he does. (It would be interesting to see his “caught” and “gotten away” ratio for chipmunk hunting.)

So any who, Aiden comes upon the chipmunk with the utmost stealth and feline grace, slowly advancing as the unaware chipmunk licks his little paws to clean behind his ears. As Aiden is just a foot away, the chipmunk cocks his head ever so slightly, as to tune into a sound that has caught his attention but it is too late. Aiden has sprung and has the cuddly rodent pinned beneath his claws.

Now I expected for him to just rip the chipmunk’s throat out or perhaps claw it out but as he just sat there with a chipmunk squirming under his needle-like claws I remembered that cats like to play with their captive. And so began the torture of one of what could possibly be chip and dale’s distant cousin.

The cat started by batting him around a bit, then let him go briefly before he would recapture him and then batter him around some more. Then, to exacerbate things, he would let the chipmunk go yet again, letting it run long enough to taste the sweetness of freedom on the fringes of his taste buds. Aiden would then delight as he recaptured the chipmunk, reveling in the hopelessness emanating from the creatures furry pores. He did this long enough for me to get a glass of milk and then he pounced for the last time.

It was at this point that Aiden was finished playing, he let the chipmunk free only to give him a violent slash with his claws, sending the chipmunk’s tail flying. He then had the chipmunk cornered, slowly approaching as the chipmunk looked on helpless and tail-less. But then a turn of the tides, the chipmunk sprang forward directly at Aiden’s face, rebounding off his nose and in the following cat-confusion sped towards the nearest tree and rocketed up its side.

“Wow,” I thought, “what a ballsy chipmunk.” I sat there silently praising the chipmunk for his ingenuity in escaping my cat. Surely it was over now that the chipmunk escaped to the network of trees in our backyard. Aiden sat staring fixedly at the boughs of the tree. I caught a glimpse of something moving from the edges of the leaves, and then, without warning, a brownish blur streaked like cute lightning from the tree.  He was a shining furry beacon raging toward the cat. From the depths of my imagination I could almost hear the chipmunk screaming like a castrated Leonidas in a teeny voice, “You may take my tail… but you’ll never take… my dignity!”

From then on it was impossible to tell what exactly happened. It was quick, there was a flash of movement for a few moments and then, when my eyes were able to fix upon that silent face-off outside my kitchen window, I was able to see Aiden walking triumphantly away with a broken and beaten chipmunk hanging limp from his jaws. I felt like my cat was walking away with the rodent equivalent of John Connor. The only one with the wherewithal to lead the “resistance” against my cat had just had his spine snapped.

After that I began to evaluate the personality of the cat, which tells me I probably didn’t have too much going on in my head that day to be analyzing the moral ambiguity of my feline pet. Essentially he’s a ruthless tyrant preying on those weaker than him for nothing more than pure enjoyment, but he also purrs so lovingly when pet behind his ears… so I was left conflicted. He still leaves tattered carcasses about the yard and I still pet him behind the ears, so all in all nothing will change.


Jimmy Hoffa: Leader With Strength

In Business, Politics on May 29, 2009 at 2:42 PM

Leadership is a characteristic trait that not everyone has. As we all know, this trait has become difficult to find in true form. I am currently writing an article for my own website which centers around the topic of leadership. I had to place that article aside and write this post because it brought me back to a class I enrolled in during my undergraduate studies.

That class was conveniently called Leadership. During that semester, we had to select an individual we felt was a good representation of a leader and present him or her to the class. The professor mentioned various leaders that other students have went forward with like Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King, Mohandas Gandhi, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Nelson Mandela. Many of the students went with leaders the professor mentioned. However, I submitted my own list of the following individuals to my professor: Bill Clinton, Jimmy Hoffa, and Henry Ford. My professor returned my list and said “Jimmy Hoffa? This is an interesting choice. Please go forward with this.”

Why did I place Jimmy Hoffa on my initial list? That is a good question. I do not even know why he crossed my mind at that time. I have to admit though… the man was a leader of a different breed. He may not have been the most straightedge individual, but he knew how to guide a group of people in the same direction to accomplish a common goal. If you are not sure who Jimmy Hoffa is; he was the President of International Brotherhood of Teamsters. The Teamsters is a labor union in the United States that helps employees achieve proper wages, work rules, complaint procedures, benefits, working conditions, and other various key areas of employment.

Jimmy Hoffa really knew how to rally people together and display a level of motivation that would sincerely empower people. He did not place himself on a higher level than the people he led. He always placed the people he was fighting for first. There is not much footage of Jimmy Hoffa online, but check out this CBC video: Retrobites: Jimmy Hoffa. When given the choice between power or money, he chose power in order to help the workers within the union. In my opinion, Jimmy Hoffa could be placed among some of the best leaders in the United States.

I do not want this post to become a biography of Jimmy Hoffa, so I must conclude with this paragraph. A leader does not always have to be a United States President or the CEO of a company. Some leaders end up turning up on the “dark side” after accomplishing positive objectives but Jimmy Hoffa wanted to help the workers in the United States and did what he could to make that happen. He led with a desire to help the every day man. If you ever get the chance, check out the movie Hoffa, starring Jack Nicholson and Danny DeVito.

Jimmy Hoffa


Still ‘UP’ In The Air

In Film on May 29, 2009 at 2:36 PM

UP

Pixar’s UP isn’t as funny or entertaining as their best film Toy Story. And it isn’t as interesting as last year’s Wall-E. It isn’t even quite on par with some of their other entries like Ratatouille and The Incredibles. And, to be honest, I’d even place it lower on my list than some non-Pixar CGI films such as Antz and Kung Fu Panda.

All that being said, UP is still a wonderful piece of filmmaking.

It begins with an opening that reinforces the fact that animated films, when in the right hands, can have just as much of an emotional impact as any traditional drama. It is a beautiful, beautiful sequence.

The rest of the film trots along with less heart and more gags. Because of the targeted demographic, the story remains fairly obvious and predictable. It doesn’t have that same ‘anything can happen’ magic that the previously mentioned Pixar films do. Because this story is based on human characters and set in the ‘real world’ so to speak, it just doesn’t have the same panache. No matter how many balloons or talking dogs are on screen, it just ain’t the same as toys coming alive when you’re not looking, robots falling in love, or superheroes living amongst us with secret powers.

Besides the heartfelt opening, one more thing sets UP apart: the third dimension. I saw the film in Disney Digital 3D and enjoyed its use of the technology immensely. The film uses the depth 3D offers to subtly enhance the storytelling instead of distract.

The only drawback is that it softens the color palette a bit. During shots that had no depth I took off the glasses to check out how the film looked normally and it was much more vibrant. But I say the extra dimension was worth it (even for a few more bucks).

As with the previously blogged about Terminator Salvation, some movies just have the bad luck of automatically being compared to superior films based on name alone. In this case it isn’t the name of a franchise, but the name of a studio: Pixar. (Evidenced by my opening paragraph.)

Is UP a great family comedy that excels within the genre? Without question.

Will it be instantly remembered from now on whenever people discuss the Pixar catalogue? Perhaps not.


Read This… If You Love Reading

In Literature on May 27, 2009 at 12:51 AM

[Editor's Note: This post, by Matt Minski, is a direct response to a post written a few days ago by fellow TIAW contributor the skeptic. Here is the original post: Read This... If You Hate Reading.]

Being one who would classify himself as an avid reader, I felt it was necessary to write a response post to the Skeptic’s article that rallied anti-readers. This isn’t a post to bash the anti-reading points that Skeptic laid out, just one to illuminate the other side that was left in the dark.

I can understand how someone in this day and age would hate reading. First off it’s rather time consuming, it comes off as rather bland compared to the current array of entertainment formats, and being assigned various (sometimes shiteous) readings throughout our academic careers, surely doesn’t foster any love for the medium.

However. for whatever reason, for as long as I can remember, I have never been without a book in progress. I tend to derive more fulfillment out of text than I do any other medium. I was always puzzled when fellow classmates would ask, “What are you reading for?” I mean, “What are you reading?” seems more apt, but “What are you reading for?” I never quite understood the rationale there.

Now I don’t think that one person is any better for reading a book, I just think that books are an excellent means to provide additional insights to whatever you might be interested in. Not that a movie, TV show, or any other medium can’t give you knowledge. A book is just another looking glass in which to see information. It also has the potential to be a much more intimate experience, as with autobiographies, it doesn’t get more genuine than reading it straight from the author’s brain.

Sadly, I also happen to be one of those douches that will naively chime, “the book was much better than the movie” when the topic of an adaptation is at hand. But alas, I can’t bring myself to keep quiet. A book just provides so very much more than a movie can in most scenarios that I can’t help but wonder why more people don’t take part in it. A book doesn’t have amazing visuals or epic soundtracks but the sheer investment it takes is a reward all its own.

For instance, I started reading Harry Potter in 8th grade and I finished the series my junior year of college when the final book hit. That’s somewhere in the ballpark of eight years to follow a story. And it is that attachment, like a scrumptious tumor embedded deep at the stem of your imagination, seeping sweet, sweet nectar into your blood stream over the years, that keeps me coming back.

Another reason that I tend to prefer books more than other mediums is that the artist’s vision is usually not compromised as it is with movies. With movies being such a lucrative industry with millions of dollars being flown around, there are many people with power (read: money) that are trying to steer a movie into what they deem as success. With a book, you have the author’s untainted creation, straight from their brain. Take Alan Moore for example, his stories (Watchmen, V For Vendetta) are brilliant, but when in the hands of Hollywood you get a very watered down version of the original. I mean I loved both of those movies but the source material has a depth to it that very few movies can hope to reach. It’s like having a mighty steer toned down into beef flavored bouillon cubes.

It saddens me that books seem to be a dying medium (keep fighting the good fight Kindle!) but it also turns out to be a great treat when I meet those rare folks who share similar tastes. I can’t help but get all antsy in my pantsy when I meet someone that shares the same love for George R. R Martin’s epic “A Song of Ice and Fire” as I do.

I don’t look down on non-readers, I just think it’s a pity that people will section themselves off from a medium that has so much to offer because they are stifled from an early age by societies general disdain of reading for pleasure. Well, I suppose that isn’t fair to say, but goddamnit it’s a tragedy to miss out on some of the books out there.

Much in the same format as the Skeptic I feel it pertinent to leave off with a quote that has been circulating around my brain and one that I feel sums up my opinion on reading.

“To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives a view over wide terrains of history, human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruits of many inquiries.”

You can’t experience every awesome thing all the time in your short lifetime but books are just one of the tools along the way that can lend a hand in between.


Will Ted Kennedy Really Get Away With Murder?

In Politics on May 26, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Wealthy people and celebitites are seldom accountable for some of the crimes they commit… including murder!

The Credit Card Bill of Rights is just another example.  Of course anything is an improvement over how we’ve been preyed upon and cheated over the past 20 years by these bankers and their Lawyers.  Let’s see if the banks out-maneuver our politicians and consumer groups over the next 9 months to negate many of the benefits.

This just highlights yet another injustice and one that we just have to swallow hard and accept because it’s never going to change.

Isn’t it amazing that our politicians and consumer groups would publicly state that  the banks have been “cheating Americans out of their hard-earned money” yet there’s no penalty, no fine and no consequence for how they have financially destroyed so many individuals and  families throughout the world.  We just change the rules in a “cat n’ mouse” game to see if we can prevent it in the future. 

However, we’ll send some little flim-flam man to jail for 5–10 years if he gets caught on a corner or in a bar cheating someone out of $10 in a three card monte game! 

Just another example of how our laws and the consequences for breaking them seldom apply to wealthy people and corporations. 

Whick makes me wonder if Ted Kennedy will take responsibility for killing Mary Jo Kopechne before he soon dies and joins her!  

It just amazes me how so many people can let that man and the Kennedy family get away with murder…albeit negligent vehicular manslaughter.

The fact that he left that woman in a submerged car fighting for her life and gasping for air in an air pocket for who knows how many hours while he consulted with his buddies and lawyers to figure out how he would save his political career,  is beyond inhumane.

After all these years he still doesn’t have the remorse or “the balls” to tell her parents the truth.

The fact that he is revered by so many is an absolute travesty and one of life’s absurdities that I will never understand.

Would somebody who has voted for Ted Kennedy please explain to me how you can reconcile the death of Mary Jo Kopechne and pull that voting booth lever for that murderer?


People Suck

In Society on May 26, 2009 at 12:33 AM

Elaine: I will never understand people.
Jerry: They’re the worst.

Something struck me the other day: People suck.

While I’ve known this fact for a long time it is good to see that I’m slowly bringing others down with me. My lovely girlfriend, we’ll call her Mrs. X, is getting the same bitter temperament that I have had for quite sometime. Yesterday we pulled into a local convenience store for a beverage when one of the local hillbillies decked out in full Harley-Davidson garb lighting up a Marb red commented on her car, and what nice shape it was in. Once out of earshot, Mrs. X leaned in an said to me, “Did I just get hit on because of my car?” (a 1991 Toyota Camry mind you). I had to say yes. And that hurt me. I ask you: isn’t there be a 6 tooth minimum when trying to hit on a girl? And I answer: a resounding ‘Yes.’

But, the incident has inspired me. I have come up with 4 (I like even numbers) things that I hate about people.

1. Courtesy (or lack thereof)

People have no sense of what common courtesy is anymore. Taking screaming brats into a nice restaurant, texting/talking on the phone in unacceptable situations (toll booths, drive throughs, etc), not waving when you let them pull out in front of you, acknowledging you when you hold a door et al. The little things. It’s a big world out there folks, don’t think that it all revolves around you.

2. Driving

The rules of the road aren’t what they used to be. I have already covered a few of these in the previous section but it deserves a part of the list all for itself. Have you ever played this tug of war? You and another motorist arrive at the same parking space but you got there noticeably sooner. The other person take this as a challenge and bangs through the gears to get into the space. It’s a parking lot, not the NHRA Nationals folks.

Also: not using blinkers, leaving high beams on, driving too slow, tailgating, drifting within lanes, stupid vanity license plates. People always seem to know just how to get your blood boiling on the road and it’s almost inescapable. At one point I got so frustrated with a woman who couldn’t operate her blinkers correctly I accused her of being a whale and her flippers were the cause of the problem. When my girlfriend pointed out how callous I was, I admitted maybe it wasn’t her flippers…it was the big horn coming out of the front of her face, that Narwhal.

3. The Internet

People on the Internet are the worst (this blog excluded obviously). Particularly on YouTube, ESPN.com, and AOL.com. Really, anywhere that someone who sits in their dimly lit house all day waiting to start an unnecessary argument can find you.

YouTube made me realize that no one is accepting of anything in this world anymore. AOL.com commentators can take the simplest article and turn it into the most torrid maelstrom of hate, religion and politics that you will ever see. ESPN isn’t that far behind.

You may say, well these people are just trying to seem crazy to make their point heard. I realize that, but at what point does arguing what Bible verse points out that Democrats are the anti-Christ seem a little bit juvenile?

4. Inside the Box

Remember that phrase “think outside the box”? Guess what, it’s actually a really good sentiment to live by. People in today’s world don’t strive to try new things. “Aerosmith is the best band ever I don’t care what you say and I’ll never listen to anything else.” “Spiderman is way better than Batman.” “Kix are better than Cheerios.”

You name it, someone has passed premature judgement on it. People strive to classify every single facet of their lives. Endless ranking, rating, and competing. Can’t we all just try and do something different?

I realize that this is only a small sampling of reasons why people suck. Please leave comments and add to this list. A wise man once said “Yes we can…find the root cause of human annoyance and stupidity.” -Barack Obama… and the_skeptic.


Memorial Day 2009

In Politics on May 25, 2009 at 5:37 PM

Today is the last Monday in May and thus, Memorial Day. A day to celebrate and commemorate those who have given their lives while in military service.

Instead of just accepting this as another long weekend (as I usually do), I decided to look the holiday a bit more this year. And what I found was the actual military order (General Order No. 11) that established this holiday.

It is so beautifully written that I felt the need to present it to you here.

I. The 30th day of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land. In this observance no form or ceremony is prescribed, but Posts and comrades will, in their own way, arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit.

We are organized, Comrades, as our regulations tell us, for the purpose among other things, “of preserving and strengthening those kind and fraternal feelings which have bound together the soldiers sailors and Marines, who united to suppress the late rebellion.”

What can aid more to assure this result than by cherishing tenderly the memory of our heroic dead? We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. All that the consecrated wealth and taste of the nation can add to their adornment and security, is but a fitting tribute to the memory of her slain defenders. Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.

If other eyes grow dull and other hands slack, and other hearts cold in the solemn trust, ours shall keep it well as long as the light and warmth of life remain in us.

Let us, then, at the time appointed, gather around their sacred remains, and garland the passionless mounds above them with choicest flowers of springtime; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledge to aid and assist those whom they have left among us a sacred charge upon the Nation’s gratitude—the soldiers and sailors widow and orphan.

II. It is the purpose of the Commander in Chief to inaugurate this observance with the hope that it will be kept up from year to year, while a survivor of the war remains to honor the memory of his departed comrades. He earnestly desires the public press to call attention to this Order, and lend its friendly aid in bringing it to the notice of comrades in all parts of the country in time for simultaneous compliance therewith.

III. Department commanders will use every effort to make this Order effective.


‘Wolfram|Alpha’ Is A Go

In Technology on May 23, 2009 at 7:46 PM

Two words:

Game. Changer.

Wolfram|Alpha has been in the news since it launched a week ago and a lot of people have heard of it, but still don’t get quite get what it is. So I decided you should get it straight from the horse’s mouth:

What Are You?

That’s right, a ‘computational knowledge engine.’ Wolfram|Alpha is indexing all the information it can, and organizing it into a searchable, comparable format. It isn’t nearly complete yet but it is already astonishing.

No one can explain it better than the man himself: The inventor, Mr. Stephen Wolfram. Here is a 13 minute introduction video that first got me amped about the whole project (courtesy of future TIAW contributor Matt Rawding).

Within a few years there is no doubt in my mind this will fundamentally change how we gather information on the internet, and thus, it will change the world. Period.

It’s the ambitiousness of W|A that makes it so amazing. If someone made a computational search engine focused on sports stats, that’d be great. If someone did it using just mathematical and scientific formulas, that’d be good too. If someone made a database full of information on movies and television shows, that’d be quite useful (which it is: IMDB.com).

But instead of jumping between those separate sites, we are talking about one entity. One single location on the web where you can find data on virtually anything: Stocks, websites, formulas, popularity of names, weather, maps, locations, schools, genome sequences, finances, government, music, food, nutritional values, the list goes on. And it is in an easy to read, easy to understand, clean looking format.

Google shows you places you may find what you are looking for, W|A finds what you are looking for. (A whole generation of high schoolers are going to have to find a way to cite this thing ASAP.)

Is it perfect? No. At least not yet. It still doesn’t have NBA stats or information on commercial products, among other things. But both those subjects are  still being indexed along with many others. And sometimes it can be easy to over-think how you want to search for something and W|A gets confused by the input. But that’s where watching the video comes in handy. It gives you a great idea of what it can do and how you can do it. I’ve watched it about 3 or 4 times now and get something new out of it every time.

The best thing to do is just play around with it. One good starting point is looking up your birthday. Or search your first and last names to see their popularity. Or look for your hometown or school. And just experiment from there.

So, for those already familiar with Wolfram|Alpha: sound off in the comments. What’s your take? Or what’s your favorite thing to compute?


Double Feature: T:S + A&D

In Film on May 21, 2009 at 4:06 PM

I’ve had the pleasure (for the most part) of seeing two movies as of late. Most recently, the action blockbuster Terminator Salvation. And before that, the snooze-fest that was Angels & Demons.

The Terminator series is near and dear to my heart. T2: Judgment Day was one of the first movies I even remember seeing and is also one of my favorites of all time. Same goes for the original. Both are phenomenal achievements in filmmaking. They have a smart, thought-provoking storyline that perfectly integrates science fiction and time travel as well as human emotion… that, and they are full of bitchin’ action sequences.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines has always made calling the franchise a ‘great trilogy’ dicey. Did it fail on a level that would make me choose to ignore its very existence? Not at all (I’m looking at you Matrix: Revolutions). It had some good action and it followed the canon well enough. As a stand alone action film I would have considered it well above average. But it has the misfortune of being judged as part of a pedigree that has set the bar tremendously high. And thus, most recall it poorly.

Salvation takes place in the near future that the other films only hint at or show snippets of. It is 2018 and the war against the machines (post judgment day) is in full swing. John Connor, while not technically leading the resistance, has become an inspiration to the survivors of the nuclear fire through the radio (as depicted at the end of T3).

This is only the first of what is set to be another trilogy, which I presume will end with the sending back of Kyle Reese that begins the original film. And I’m okay with that. I’ll take it.

Do these movies need to exist? No. The story has already been thoroughly laid out. Is it cool to see, with today’s special effects and stylization, what that war looks like? And on top of that, is it an easy way for the studio to drum up some cash using a successful franchise that requires no heavy lifting script wise? Absolutely yes on both counts.

So in the end, Salvation proves entertaining as fan service but doesn’t make any great strides one way or the other for the franchise. It’s a good blockbuster and it doesn’t mess anything up. Worth checking out if you are a fan of the series.

…oh yea… Did I mention I saw Angels & Demons? Umm, yep. I did. It was… yea. Not worth its own blog post even. I read The Da Vinci Code before seeing that film, this time I went in blind. And that helped me appreciate how poor these films are as products. There is no detail, no subtlety and no nuance. Which are the qualities that make the books so popular. But alas, none of that translates in this format. Don’t bother unless you read the book and can fill in those sizable gaps for yourself.


Read This… If You Hate Reading

In Literature on May 20, 2009 at 2:18 AM

You know what? I hate reading. Yeah I said it. And as much as I hate reading, I hate reading about people reading. There was an article in “The Republican,” Springfield’s finest newspaper, today written by some 8th grade overachiever who was singing the praises of reading. First of all, reading ain’t all its cracked up to be. People make the association that just because a kid has his nose in a book that they are far and above kids who… aren’t.

When I see a child, or anybody for that matter, reading a book I think one of three things: 1. The kid has no friends and is crying out for someone to hang out with. 2. The kid is brown nosing or attempting to appear more intellectual. 3. They are following a trend that no one knows how got started (Twilight, Potter, Joel Osteen).

Do we realize how ridiculous this is? Just because someone is reading a book doesn’t mean that they’re going to be the next Niles Bohr, especially if it’s about vampire love triangles (or whatever the hell Twilight is about). Is someone strong just because they are in the gym? Is someone stylish just because they shop at Hollister? Is someone from Alabama just because they listen to Kenny Chesney? No. So kids are certainly not advancing themselves just because they are reading rather than watching TV or anything else.

I (the_skeptic) am known as somewhat of a Renaissance Man. I obtained my knowledge not from the pages of a book but from years of absorbing information from all places. In 3rd grade a teacher was talking about musicians and if anyone in the class knew a famous violin company. I said “Stradivarius,” much to her amazement. And do you know where I heard it? The Three Stooges episode “Disorder in the Court.” But enough about me.

My little overachieving friend at the Republican built her argument on the notion that reading has something for everyone, which it does. But so do video games, and movies, and department stores, so I don’t really see the correlation. If it’s that using your imagination to paint the pictures to go with someone else’s words, spare me. Everyone interprets every piece of art differently. Some people will tell you Will Ferrell is really funny, others won’t. It’s just like reading, some people like 1,000 page novels about wizards and full page articles about how people dress up and wait outside for the book to be released, some people like Dilbert. To each his own.

I will leave you with this my loyal followers (because I clearly can’t say readers after all this). This is my favorite quote of all-time, and it came from a big, burly mechanic on the old TV show Monster Garage.

“I like to spend my time doing the things that people write books about.”

Now that’s the most profound thing I’ve READ in a long time.


Cheerleaders: Yay or Nay?

In Sports on May 17, 2009 at 8:39 PM

I was at the NBA Eastern Conference Semi-Final Game 7 between the World Champion Boston Celtics and the Orlando Magic today and something at the game rekindled an internal debate I’ve been struggling with for years now.

Cheerleaders

I’m conflicted over their very existence. I still can’t decide if I am for or against them.

On the one hand, I think to myself: How could any self respecting woman take such a job? The whole concept is degrading. Sports teams hoping to maintain the attention of their main demographic (young men) during timeouts by throwing pretty women in skimpy clothing in front them. And on top of that, have them dance… shall we say, suggestively. It objectifies women and reinforces stereotypes regarding their role in society that should have been broken down decades ago.

But, then I think to myself: It’s a job. And I’m guessing a relatively well paying one. And I am certainly not in the business telling people what they should or shouldn’t do with their lives. If a woman is passionate about dancing (and/or enjoys sports), why not try to be a cheerleader? It’s a high profile gig that I’m sure will serve their dancing careers well down the road. You get lots of press and attention, you do good for the community when not at games etc. And it’s only temporary by its very nature.

So which perspective wins out in the end? I still haven’t decided. My heart says it doesn’t feel right and we should strive for better as a people. While my brain says, why not? Life is far too short to deny these girls a job opportunity and simultaneously take away some dude’s entertainment.

Overall this post solves nothing in terms of me reaching a conclusion on the matter. But I wanted to get my thoughts out there and see how others feel about the issue (or non-issue). Or I could discover I’m all alone on this one  and I just think too much. Sound off below in the comments section.

Cheerleaders


Impressions: Where Did They Go?

In Business on May 16, 2009 at 9:42 AM

“I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.” - Lemony Snicket

“I want to make an impact here.” Have you ever heard an individual mention that before? How serious was that individual? Were you that individual? We have all said something along those lines or know someone who has said something like that. I have heard it before but never saw any results. I have see the complete opposite as well. Everyone would like to stand out and make a positive impression. I know I do. However, it seems like many people just think that that so-called “positive impression” is going to come out of thin air. They think that there is no such thing as effort.

I really find it amusing that some people think that effort is no longer a necessity when making a positive impression. They are completely wrong. Effort is such a key factor. I believe that you will always at least get back what you put in. We all know that. That is just the way it goes. If you want to get an ‘A’ in one of your classes, then you better put in ‘A’ effort. If you want your marriage to see its 50 year anniversary, you better put in 50 years of effort. If you want to get that $4 per hour raise at work, you better put in that $4 per hour additional effort. There is a trend here.

When it comes to attempting to make a positive impression, do not… absolutely do not wait for opportunities to come to you. If you want to sit there and wait, then plan on waiting there for a long time. You need to create the opportunity to make that good impression. However, if someone wants to acknowledge your potential and hand you the opportunity… there you go. Take it. Take that opportunity and apply your best effort.

When an individual accomplishes a positive impression (i.e. completes a difficult task with ease), the whole idea sometimes becomes forgotten. The drive to continue displaying positive impressions disappears. That becomes a bad trait. You need to continue setting the bar for yourself. Each time you attempt something, you need to think of it as setting the bar at least one notch higher. That becomes important. It shows the ability to continue growing and the ability to continue applying the required effort to become successful at whatever it may be. Always think that “with one positive impression, another needs to follow.” Do not end at the “first” impression.


Movin’ On Up

In Society on May 14, 2009 at 12:34 AM

So, I’m moving. It’s just changing apartments within the same complex but it’s still a big deal. Anytime you relocate all of your Earthly possessions, I consider it a big deal.  This has lead me to reflect on the idea of moving in general and I’ve compiled a list of the top 3 and bottom 3 aspects of the process.

TOP 3:

1. You get a mulligan on your interior decoration decisions - Sick of that poster you put up? Wish you didn’t have to creak your neck to see your TV. Moving gives you the chance to start fresh with a new room layout and a new look.

2. It gives you a chance to clean – Mostly dusting. My computer, TV, and game consoles all need a good wipe down. As does my bureau and other furniture. And I’m not gonna move something that’s dirty obviously. Perfect chance to finally clean everything.

3. Junk is eliminated (only take what you need to the next place) - All that crap in my drawers will finally hit the bricks. You can’t move a full desk, so instead I go through and trash most everything. I follow my patented golden rule (or as I call it, ‘the prime directive’) that anyone who has ever worked with me knows: WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT!

BOTTOM 3:

1. It requires (sometimes strenuous) physical labor – I’m not exactly a model of physical fitness, as anyone who goes to Applebees with me can tell. (I can house a Triple Chocolate Meltdown in a minute flat.) So anything that involves, lifting, carrying, stair climbing, walking, moving, kinetic energy of any kind, sorta cramps my style.

2. Stuff gets lost in the shuffle - Whatever happened to my set of weights that I had in my old house in Reading? I still don’t know. It somehow never made it to Maine with us. Which might explain why I’m not into fitness anymore. I paid good money for those weights and I certainly am not gonna do it again!

3. You have to change your mailing address… on… everything… – Kill me now. My bank. Work. Driver’s license. Credit cards. Any and all online accounts. Everything has to change over and, of course, I’ll forget something and either lose mail or get it way too late.

How about you? Anything I missed? Anything about moving that you particularly love or hate? Any good stories? Share them in the comments.


My Genius Idea

In Comedy, Technology on May 12, 2009 at 11:59 PM

So the other night I was struck with what could possibly be a fantastic, albeit ridiculous, idea. It all started when I had knocked back a few with some friends in what can only be described as a colloquial situation. We were sitting around playing the mini-games found within Pokemon Stadium 2 for Nintendo 64 when I felt my proverbial “seal” start to break. So, after the round was over, I made my way to our fetid bathroom.

What happened from then on is what you might expect to happen, I prepped, aimed and let loose my swollen bladder. But as I coated the inside of the bowl with my lemon stream I was stricken with said genius idea.

Now picture a product, a product that is thin, adhesive on one side, battery powered (maybe solar though, gotta go green after all), waterproof, touch sensitive, and that contours to one half of the inside of your toilet bowl. Now the device is segmented into 8-10 touch sensitive columns, all programmed with a different musical note to play whenever the touch-sensitive pad is “interacted” with. Basically what I’m getting at is a touch sensitive abomination of a keyboard that you stick in your toilet bowl and piss on for entertainment. Wouldn’t that be great?

At first thought I was amazed that my mind had percolated such an idea and wondered why I hadn’t seen anything like it. Surely this is something that would be seen on the shelves of your local Spencers.

However, upon further thought, I started to see the flaws inherent in the idea. It is possible that such a device would promote excessive splattering, be seen as ridiculous, and/or would leave customers dissatisfied when they had to change the batteries (not if it was solar powered though!)?

No product is without its flaws, however, and knowing that I can say that I would feel confident in my purchase of a “Pee-Board” (patent pending) for use in my bathroom. Now would you readers (women urinators excluded sadly) feel a sense of glee if whenever you peed you made sweet, beautiful melodies? Or would you shake your head in maturity?


Be A Society Hero

In Music, Video Games on May 11, 2009 at 10:32 PM

I have a headache, and do you know why? I don’t know what the word “hero” means anymore. No, this isn’t a long, political filibuster about the way things were in the good ole days; it is a call to action for all of us to just say no… to rhythm based video games.

Wait, did I really just try to put down the multi-zillion dollar industry that has been created by the game Guitar Hero? You’re damn right I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning the whole organization but I am saying enough is enough. Do you people realize how close we were to getting a Guitar Hero: Prince? (Prince had the dignity to decline and say kids would turn out as well adjusted individuals if they played actual instruments.) But I guess it makes sense, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith was a huge hit, the only thing it was missing in my mind was unlockable wheelchairs and walkers for Steven Tyler to use as he shuffled around stage. But enough about my dislike for Aerosmith, I’ll try and spell out it out for you a little more clearly.

Since 2005 when Guitar Hero burst onto the scene there have been 8 games that have come out with 3 more due out this year. Not including the Rock Band franchise which people still pretend is somehow different or more advanced than Guitar Hero, that’s around 1.6 games every year. That’s faster than MADDEN people! I do believe that the fine folks who program these games know that they are running out of room to make these games because in the 2009 lineup is a game called Band Hero. Probably up after that is Group of People in Close Proximity Making Noise Hero, or is that just another name for Aerosmith? Burned.

Basically what I’m driving at is that our whole media industry is far too consumed with reproducing something until its returns are so diminished that it ends up in the bargain bin at Dollar Tree. Don’t believe me? Toy Story 3 is in the works (I know it’s in 3D MrBillGeorge, relax), a new Beverly Hills Cop, a new Jurassic Park, a new Rambo for God’s sake, he (*spoilers*) DIED in the first book. Somewhere the carnage must end.

But there is in fact no end in sight. Activision is coming out with DJ Hero, which I’m absolutely sure will spawn a line of niche games in this vein. Maraca Hero, Slide-Whistle Hero, Nails on a Chalkboard Hero: Aerosmith, Triangle Hero and people will probably eat it up.

I put it to you America, play these games, but don’t discuss that Buddy Rich style drumming got you through ‘Hot For Teacher’ on drums. Be a society hero, go out, socialize, bang on a real drum or two, you just might find that not everything needs a USB port to be worthwhile.


Please Disable My OLAA Credit Card Account

In Business, Politics on May 10, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Dear American Express, CitiBank, Wells Fargo etc,

This is your Official Notification to AUTOMATICALLY DECLINE any charge I authorize that would cause my account to go OVER-LIMIT.

I know I should track the running balance on my credit card accounts and every charge I make…“to the penny,” but my day to day life is sometimes hectic and complicated and I have moments where it is either inconvenient or downright impossible to manage all my work and personal responsibilities and relationships…and the drama of my daily life.

Since you regard the crossing of my credit-limit line, “even by 1 cent”, to be such an egregious offense that you would punish me with an immediate fine and then double or triple the interest rate on my past balance, I want you to know that you have my attention and I also take this seriously.

On a Side Note: As an industry, I commend you for convincing our politicians and lawmakers that they should extend such legal “jurisdiction and punishment powers” to your industry. Most of our courts, judges and arbitrators do not posses this degree of power (which can easily financially ruin an American Family) without some sort of an administrative process. A process where the accused has an opportunity to present some facts and circumstances and have his future intentions and past behavior in the community mitigate the punishment. The “Judge, Jury and Sentencing Authority” you have over all Americans holding your credit cards is an impressive testimony to your influence and control over our politicians and government.

But I digress…I’m not sure if you have checked-in with your IT Department recently, but I wanted to let you know that you now have the technological ability to deny any charge to my account that would cause me to inadvertently commit the egregious offense of exceeding my credit-limit. Actually, I find it surprising you have not been providing this customer service option and service already since you consider this such a capital consumer offense. Hmmm…I wonder why?

Anyway, please excuse my lack of knowledge as to which Federal Law I should cite as the reference for your requirement to honor my request and I hope you will agree that it makes a lot of sense that I would choose to have you decline any charge that would cause my account to go over-limit rather than pay an additional over-limit fee and have my interest rate increased on my previous balance that we both agreed would be paid…but at a lower rate.

I do appreciate your concern that I not be embarrassed or inconvenienced at check-out with a disapproved charge but I would rather deal with that embarrassment and situation than pay you an extra $ 3,000 in interest over the next year for the $ 24 pair of pants I was trying to purchase.

Honestly, I believe Federal Law should dictate that banks require Card Holders to specifically opt-in to activate an Over-Limit Authorized Account (OLAA) and agree to the fines and the doubling and tripling of the interest rate. Quite logically and fairly…the same Federal Law would also dictate that banks cannot disqualify activation of a credit card account or terminate a credit card account solely because a Card Holder does not opt-in to an OLAA Account.

But then…who am I to be promoting such logic, common sense and fairness? As we all know, our Senators and Congressmen (and women) are always looking after our best interests and if what I just suggested made any sense whatsoever…it surely would have been done a long, long time ago.

So again, please disable my Over-Limit Authorized Account (OLAA).

Sincerely,

Rick MacDonald


Two Thumbs Beamed Way Up

In Film on May 9, 2009 at 6:58 PM

First let me acquaint you with my level of Trekkery so you know where I stood going into this rekindling of the franchise. (Side note: I just made up the word Trekkery and now realize how dangerously close it comes to sounding like ‘treachery’…) I have seen all the films. I watched the next gen television series occasionally but my knowledge is essentially entirely film based. Of the originals, I really enjoyed 2 (The Wrath of Khan) and 6 (The Undiscovered Country). Most of the others I remember seeing as a kid and thinking they were boring.

So going in I probably knew a good bit more than the average person. But my fandom remained in the realm of casual. Never have I considered myself to be a Trekkie by any stretch of the imagination.

Then I saw J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek.

All I can say is, “Wow.” Sure, there were a few dodgy moments in the story and a few things I scratched my head over. But it succeeds… nay, excels, in so many areas that those plot points (read: holes) are quickly overshadowed.

I’ve known since Mission: Impossible III that Abrams was gifted behind the camera and he has outdone himself once again. He is one of those directors I find myself completely in tune with. His vision, his pacing. Everything. In my book, he does it all just right.

And it doesn’t hurt that he has oodles of cash at his back. The special effects in this film are second to none. The U.S.S. Enterprise is breathtaking. The bridge is gorgeous. And on and on.

The most astounding thing about Abrams is how he can take a franchise as seemingly stuffy and uninviting to the general public as Star Trek, and turn it into the most accessible, thrilling, fun blockbuster in years and not compromise its integrity or hardcore appeal.

Most of that success has to do with the superb casting. When dealing with such well known characters, casting young versions can be nearly impossible. But every single role is filled seamlessly. I was stunned.

This is one of those rare circumstances in which I cannot wait for sequels to be made, assuming that Abrams and the entire cast is on board (pun intended). Now that the franchise has been reestablished with such vigor and glory, I demand more. With this director, this ensemble and those special effects, the potential is limitless.


X-Men: Bore-igins… ZING!

In Film on May 7, 2009 at 12:54 PM

Okay, it wasn’t boring. But I did find X-Men Origins: Wolverine underwhelming. So much so that I really do not feel like spending the time necessary to write a full review. So (like most of the storylines in the movie itself) I’ll keep this short and underdeveloped:

THE GOOD:

-Hugh Jackman still makes a great Logan and does the character justice. Unfortunately the writers do him no favors.

-Liev Schreiber steps up and plays a convincing Sabertooth.

-The action scenes work pretty well. They don’t fall into the usual trap of super fast cutting.

-Seeing Wolverine fight through American history during the opening credits was badass.

THE BAD:

-I feel like nothing was accomplished after 107 minutes. Which is the major flaw with an origins movie to begin with. When you’ve already seen the ‘After’ picture, the ‘Before’ loses its drama.

-Feels stagnated. It never flows. The film feels like a collection of scenes and set pieces rather than a cohesive experience.

-Uses every action movie cliche in the book.

THE UGLY:

-The final boss. My God, he freaked me right the hell out.

-I know there were multiple easter eggs at the end of the credits and mine was totally lame. I feel robbed. Damn you West Springfield!

-Sound off with your take in the comments below!


Revisiting ‘The Departed’

In Film on May 5, 2009 at 5:06 PM

With a few exceptions, I usually keep the time between film viewings at a year minimum. That way it maintains some level of freshness. For this first ‘revisiting’ post I watched The Departed for the first time in full since I saw it in theaters in 2006.

It won the Oscar that year for Best Picture as well as Best Editing and Best Director. While the Picture category was admittedly weak that year, the editing and directing ones were not. The sweep was credited to the fact that, while The Departed was a solid movie, it was done by a man long overdue for some gold: Martin Scorsese.

Sentimentality for Marty aside: this movie deserved none of its accolades and was generally overrated. (And yes, I was regrettably part of that hype machine.)

Right off the bat, the first 20 minutes is a nightmare. We jump forward and back through time, music is added haphazardly, and I dare you to try to count the number of shot inconsistencies. We go from a shot behind Nicholson with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, to a head-on medium shot- cigarette: gone. Leo is leaning forward in his chair during a close up, cut wide, he’s laying back. It’s incredibly aggravating. Then, right when you think the story is off and running, the title card is slapped onto the screen twenty minutes too late. The whole thing can only be described as jarring.

After that, the movie actually begins to flow better. The trade off being, instead of being distracted by the editing, now your distracted by everyone’s atrocious attempts at Boston accents. First of all, not everyone who works in Boston is from Boston. Secondly, not everyone from Boston has such thick accents. And Matt Damon… really? You are from Boston. Therefore, however you naturally speak is a Boston accent. Why force it?

Don’t get me wrong, the story is riveting and the script is superb. My gripes here are with execution only. And the parts that are done right are really, really great. (i.e. Damon calling Leo on Queenan’s phone. The surprising finale. Etc.) And the performances (accents notwithstanding) are solid. Leo carries the whole damn thing and both Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg shine in their bit parts.

But the cutting (or lack thereof given its unnecessary 151 minute runtime), the music cues, Damon’s love interest; they all bring down what could have been an instant classic. Instead, it remains “that Boston cop movie” that everyone loves to remember fondly and talk glowingly about, but won’t stop while flipping past it on TNT.

WORTH REVISITING?: Not as good as remembered, but not a waste of time either. Just plain ‘meh.’


May Madness: ‘Idol’ Final Four

In Music, Television on May 1, 2009 at 1:18 AM

I’ve put this off long enough. I have got to sound off on American Idol now that we are down to the final four. But first let me say, yes, I watch American Idol. I know it’s all filler/garbage during elimination nights, the product placement is atrocious and Paula is intolerable. But the talent this year is fantastic, the songs are fun to listen to, Simon is still the man and the drama of who goes and who stays is irresistible. So let’s get right to it:

ADAM: Has my vote. By far the best performer/entertainner and most innovative. He is a phenomenal talent. His song selection (minus that little Ring of Fire mishap) has been impeccable. More specifically, his renditions of Tracks of my Tears and Mad World were some of the best performances the show has ever seen.

That being said: he may not win. For a few reasons. 1. Many people think he already has it in the bag so they don’t put in the effort of voting (like myself). Which is why I think he was in the bottom two this week (unless that was just a producer’s way of ratcheting up the excitement). 2. Stuff like this has got to scare FOX when they consider the prospect of him becoming the new mascot of their highest rated show.

KRIS: Consistently good. I really like Kris’ voice and his song choices. He was the best and bravest during disco week without a doubt. He is my second choice and I would not be surprised one bit if he won and I’d be okay with that. The reason his chances are better than Adam’s is that he is more marketable. He has a broader appeal, a more soothing presence and a clean look. But he’s weak in terms of charisma and personality. So it’s a tossup. He is talented enough to be the next American Idol, without question (I mean if Taylor Hicks can win…). Then again, he was in the bottom three this week, for what reason I do not know.

ALLISON: The youngster is my third choice. She has always been a strong contender but her problem is her limited range. All her performances blend together for me. While I’m listening to her I’m impressed but it’s easily forgettable. She hasn’t proven she is a unique artist, as Kara would say. Also, she’s a bit too similar to Kelly Clarkson. America needs something fresher than that, which has been proven by her recent visits to the bottom three. But she will certainly shine this week with the rock and roll theme.

DANNY: The guy with the dead wife. I’ve only heard this secondhand but apparently his dying wife’s last wish was for him to compete on Idol. If someone wants to confirm that be my guest, but it explains part of why he gets so many votes. I think he’s a fine singer, but who makes up his audience? What demographic would buy his albums? Ultimately, that’s what FOX wants: to sell albums. And Danny is not a lock for that if you ask me. I hope sympathy votes don’t sway America too heavily, at the end of the day this is a singing competition. And, great as he is at times, the other three are all better.

BOTTOM LINE: There’s more talent among these top four than a lot of previous Idol winners. If you never watched or gave up on it like I did, I suggest you give it another shot. At the risk of sounding corny: it’s good, wholesome entertainment. A fun diversion from life to escape to. And, at the very least, something to blog about.