Mr. Bill George Presents

Red Bull: A Way Of Life

In Comedy on April 17, 2009 at 11:50 PM

Right there on my desk is the quite familiar can.  I’m staring it down as I try and figure out… “Why do I buy this so-called energy drink?”  I think I have probably drank 1,000 or more of these cans.  I highly doubt I am exaggerating either.  I’m looking at this 8.4 fluid ounce can that costs me about $2.26 each.  That’s right… $2.26 for only 8.4 fluid ounces.  You could get two 2 liter bottles of soda for that price.  It’s not like it really gives me “wiiiiings” like this advertisement states: Red Bull Gives You Wings.  Could it be the slim physique that is the perfect shade of blue and silver with the dueling bulls as its logo?  Honestly, I have no idea.

Red Bull has become a way of life for me.  Anyone and everyone who knows me understands that Red Bull and I have a relationship.  My wallpaper on my iMac contains four Red Bull aircraft painted in the same scheme as the can.  The wallpaper on my iPhone… a Red Bull can.  What is that on my dresser in my bedroom you ask?  Three different types of Red Bull products from Austria (where the product originated).  Some say I am pretty obsessed… wait… they shake their head and say, “you’re addicted.”

Could someone like myself really be “addicted” to Red Bull?  I know it has caffeine and all but… seriously.  Couldn’t I just be like that person who is obsessed with a BMW 5-series car?  No wait.  How about that person over there that is just obsessed with some singer like Jimmy Buffett and his Margaritaville type of music?  Is it bad that I love Red Bull as much as they love their car or their music?

Actually, forget it.  I thought I’d come up with an answer to why myself and so many other people drink Red Bull… I was wrong.  The product is amazing.  The company is amazing.  They hold over 80% of the market share.  I’m not the only one here.  I know I’m not what everyone says… “addicted.”  So, I am not too worried about why I get sucked into buying a can for $2.26 and drinking as if it was my last one.  I’m just going to go ahead and drink this can and enjoy it.  Ahhh… like I said.  It is a way of life… for me at least.

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  1. man, i don’t know how you can stand the taste of those things. i tried one once and could barely keep it down. but hey, if you like it you like it. i came to the conclusion a long time ago that life is very short and we should enjoy the things that we enjoy while we can still enjoy them.

    so you go ahead and continue to chug those red bulls and i’ll continue to get taco bell 3+ times a week. (i love america.)

  2. I have to agree with the previous commenter on the taste of Red Bull. To me, it is overly sweet. A combination of cherry cough syrup and red life savers. I much prefer a different overpriced energy drink…coffee. I need the bitterness to compliment the sugar and cream that I add for my perfect cup. If I’m going to buy an “energy drink” in the true sense of the word Amp, by Mountain Dew, is my choice.

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